|Mo||LEMONS ON THE CHAINS WIT DA YEA YEAY EA
LEMONS ON THE CHAINS WITH THE V CUTSSS BURRRRRRRRR HAAAAAAAAAAAAA WEHHHHHH
|BNet||what are you doing|
|Mo||ppl who listen to rap would understand this lol|
|Mo||fuk u for judging me neway lol|
|BNet||what are you doing|
Yesterday I went to taco bell and now my asshole hurts from shitting.
You've heard that one before, right?
But not like this.
While at Taco Bell, I figured I take a spork for the basketball game. idk why. And then I was like "Oh, Hell, why not take two?"
So I did. And sat down. Then I had the urge to take some more. So I did. And some more. It's like I couldn't stop taking sporks. I had 56 by the time I got done, (they're free so I guess technically it wouldn't be stealing but I don't know).
So I walked out, with my pockets bulging with spork goodness, and walked all the way to the game.
So I got to the game, and before I took out the sporks, some chick actually asked me if "anyone up there had a spork because she was eating taco bell
Pun and xjt has heard me say whhhaaaaAAAATTTT?? before.
Well I was like yyeeESSSSS!?!?!
~~Lol, the whole time my best friend (one of those nutcase marijuana buddies that are with you till the end I'm sure some people here know what I'm talking about) had a burrito with a mexican (I didn't capitalize mexican on purpose) face drawn on it, with a wide open mouth and a BNer mustache. It also had a turban on him made out of the wrapper.
We named him Buelo Rodriguez.~~
So. I gave her a spork.
Everyone had a good laugh.
But I felt like THE MAN!
Here is a par
Alright so unwrapped all 56 sporks (this takes a fucking lifetime)and then shouted at the top of my lungs during the National Anthem "FROM NOW ON LET'S ALL CALL OUR SPERM PENIS PULP!!!!!!"
Just kidding. But you better believe I fucking unrapped every damn one.
Then I gave them out to people and everyone started chewing on them. That's like 30 people chewing on sporks.
MEANWHILE, the star player on the other teams last name was Kyle Wehner.
It was even tattoo'd on his arm.
Lol everytime they took him out some loudmouth would ALWAYS scream "HAHHAHAHA LOOK THEY PULLED WEINER OUT HAHA WHEN ARE THEY GONNA THRUST HIM BACK IN??!!?!?!"
That guy didn't shut the fuck up the ENTIRE FUCKING GAME.
Actually, everyone ended up screaming "HAHA ITS WEINER LAWL!!!"
Anywaysssss we all chewed the fuck out of the sporks.
But I accidentally swallowed a punch of pointy plastic.
"a bunch of pointy plastic"
"swollowed a shitload of sharp plastic"
And I mean a fucking bunch.
So as you see, time came later on 30 minutes ago to shit yesterdays eaten food out.
Well, yesterdays eaten food contained: Hot Fries, Lettuce, Tomato, Cheerios, and....oh yea A SHITLOAD OF PLASTIC KILLING SPIKES.
And long story long, it made my most recent shit a living hell.
I hope the burning in my ass stops soon.
And that the swelling goes down.
And the bleeding stops.
And that the scars heal.
|L9||What in the hell.|
|BNet||I really do enjoy your stories.
When that chick asked it anyone had a spork though you should have been like RAI!!!!!!!!!!!! and thrown all 50 sporks at her face at once
|amir25atw||lmfao that woulda been fukking hilarious i just stopped laughing at that|
|Punisher2||The worst typo you ever had?
Daniel just sent you a nudge.
Corey just sent you a nude. except not really.
LOL!!!!!!!! thats funny
i totally meant to say Nudge
Corey just sent you a nudge.
|magikarp||This one time on AIM I was talking to this girl and she goes "hi" and I go"ho" and she blocked me.|
|Shine||Shine For Life
|mistero della mente||hey guys!
i updated the mistero article on the wiki to include my history!
say nice things about me on it!
|Past||No matter how i update mine someone always comes and puts nigger.|
|BNet||Why are people so fucking loud in the library
HEY!!!! OH HEY I'M ON THE PHONE!!! WHATS THAT??? YOU NEED DIRECTIONS TO WHAT??!?!?!? OH HEY LET ME GET THEM UP HERE FOR YOU!?!? WHATS THAT? A FUNNY JOKE??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH LMFAOFMAOFMAOFMOAFMLAFMAO Go kill yourself.
|punisher2||Lol, because in the library your supposed to be quiet so naturally people are loud XDDD|
|BNet||This library isn't "supposed" to be quiet because nobody does shit to enforce peace and quiet. Everyone talks so fucking loudly. This one chick is fucking SCREAMING into the phone. Everyone around her is laughing at her behind her back.|
|mistero della mente||bnet adheres to the rules put in place for social and public locations such as the library. another is the cinema.|
|BNet||If I were slightly more obnoxious I'd pretend to answer my phone and be even louder, saying things like "HEY BUDDY. YEAH I'M ON THE PHONE WITH YOU. YEAH THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT BRO. YEAH. YEAH THAT'S COOL. OH YEAH? OH HEY NEAT." and just stare her right in the face as I talked.|
|atresac||Tonight at 8
I am going to stream a movie for all of us to watch as a family.
|Magikarp||What movie? :L|
|Magikarp||Sounds like an interesting movie.|
|Past||does someone have black night rises on dvd?|
|atresac||holy shit what a goddamn IDIOT.|
|atresac||it's black night arisen|
|~dr_dude love~||bout to stream
gimmie a few
|Yellow Jr.||If he ever figures out how to work it. o;|
|~dr_dude love~||how the hell do i work this?|
|Punisher2||Sean Penn Hopes His Haiti Critics 'Die Screaming of Rectal Cancer'|
|BNet||change "critics" to "victims" and you have a whole new level of controversy.|
|magikarp||What did you get your mom for mother's day?|
|amir25atw||I woke her up at 6:30 to tell her her breath smells then I ran over her favorite flowerbed when I left.|
|Grecian||im not really sure how statistics work so bnet will have to confirm for me but
thats good right?
|xjt22||from my rare calculations i would have to say 8/10 is about an 80% chance|
|xjt22||I cry myself to sleep because of ddls racist words to me|
|Amir25atw||Venom was a beast|
|BNet||Venom was a first-trimester abortion who miraculously survived.|
|BNet||someone get a magic number in this post so i can see if it worked|
|BNet||hint: it's 45|
|L9||Can you give us another hint|
|Yellow Jr.||Hey L9
I bet you haven't even read all the Harry Potter books and you go on like you know English so fucking good you ain't know shit from a brick
|L9||Shut up. I know English great. My English is great.|
|PurpNGold49er||l9 > bnet
as far as english
but bnet > l9 everything other then that
|BNet||Excuse me, Past, but I believe you mean "everything other thin that." Thin is used for comparison, you Neanderthal.|
|PurpNGold49er||stop being mad l9 is better at english|
|BNet||Please, please reconsider! I know a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, I know so many grammars, I write professional books.|
|BNet||I was once praised with the following: "Knows a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, knows so many grammars, writes professional books."|
|BNet||"Metapod" is metapod for "yes"|
|BNet||I haven't used facebook in almost a year though. I may come back soon :||
|mistero della mente||i rarely used it. only reason i got one was because my brother wanted me to do the surveys/questionaires/quizzes on it, and people ended up adding so i thought 'ah nice'. BUT THEN THEY DONT TALK TO YOU BASTARDA|
|BNet||They don't talk to you because you smell bad, you do not take proper care of yourself hygienically, and you smell terrible.|
|magikarp||What ever happened to Sess?
I never really talked to him but I remember when we put my dog down and I was really depressed about it he made a post and said he loved me haha he was cool
|L9||He's just on another hiatus. He pops back in every now and then.|
|Og Bubba Kush||idk bnet was a asshole he banned him and sess aint the type to kiss your ass, if you dont like him he dont fuck with you lol sess is a cool dude tho one of the realest people i ever met on the internet but like l9 said he might be locked up again cause he did have a case coming up.|
|L9||Right, I mentioned his upcoming case in my post.|
|L9||HERE AT NDF, WE LIKE TO SIMULATE PARTIES|
|Punisher2||AN INTERESTING FACT!
the last time ndf had a 100 reply post was April 22, 2009
and it was the fucking 1200 purple spam post.
|mistero della mente||you know it happens a few times during a year. summer soon so|
|Punisher2||Im gonna call it the great depression|
|Magikarp||I just got done eating mock lobster (I'm going to say the same thing in the post that was deleted)
More like rock lobster! Amirite?
|mistero della mente||i saw this post before it got deleted and was going to say "more like cock. and that's it" but instead i chose to masturbate and when i came back the post was gone.|
|magikarp||And if my grandma knew/thought I was an atheist she'd probably beat the fuck out of me.|
|BNet||what's your grandmom's phone number|
|magikarp||Let me look it up, hold on.|
|BNet||why would you|
|BNet||that's not hers.|
|magikarp||That is my 67 year old grandma's cell phone number who is in vegas right now.|
|magikarp||That's not the one who's extremely religious though. She's semi-religious.|
i want the other one's
|BNet||also what if i called her|
|magikarp||I don't care.|
|magikarp||She's fucking in Vegas right now, she's probably up.|
|BNet||gimme your other grandmom's number i'm gonna tell her i'm calling her to ask her to help you see the light of christ because i'm afraid you're slipping into satan's grasp|
|magikarp||LOL no, I don't have her phone number.|
|BNet||i'm going to call you other grandmom, tell her it's Brandon and ask for a related family member's number because i forget it, and then i'm going to call that person, who is more likely to have your other grandmom's number, and ask them for it, once again posing as you|
|magikarp||Nah you can call her but she'll be able to tell it's not me.|
and it'll be hilarious
prepare to repent
|magikarp||LOL fuck you. But she's "hip" on this stuff. She'll know it's not me.|
|BNet||i know what you sound like, and i can imitate voices perfectly.|
|magikarp||Try it. I had a cold in that stream, I probably sound nothing like that.|
|BNet||you'll have a cold in this conversation, too then.|
|magikarp||LOL oh god, did you do it yet, BNet?|
|BNet||nah i'm not gonna, i was just fucking with you|
|Yellow Jr.||I'll do it.|
|BNet||record the convresation|
|Yellow Jr.||Karp you fucking suck|
|BNet||it was karp wasn't it|
He was like "You're fucking horse shit"
|mistero della mente||Also, recommend me other gamecube games to download for future? :3|
|mistero della mente||i never liked it.|
|BNet||well you're an idiot and don't deserve to live|
Why do you keep correcting everyone whenever possible? Just because members of your site, note YOUR site, aren't always grammatically correct, doesn't mean you should constantly be correcting them. I'm willing to bet that a few of them could be below par when it comes to knowledge of the english language and grammar in particular, and when one of their e-friends continuously points out that they're wrong and therefore less of an intellectual than you are, especially when that particular e-friend happens to have made this website and administrates it, they probably feel hurt and may at some point want to stop posting when that e-friend is around in order to stop being unrightfully corrected and told that they are wrong. Or perhaps even decide to stop coming to your site altogether. You seem to feel you're the only human with the capacity to type up messages using proper english and grammar, thus creating a false sense of entitlement with which boosts your ego that you hide behind, creating a Battle Netmaster who acts like an asshole and picks and prods at any person who may make a grammatical error on his website. You should act with humility. Instead of being selfish, be selfless. You more than likely hurt a lot of peoples feelings whom weren't as fortunate as you were to have opportunities to be taught properly and have a good environment to be taught in whilst in their developmental stages. You were bullied as a child I'm assuming, and you now know why those children probably said those heinous insults to you. Because you, too, are now experiencing the feeling of being more powerful than someone whilst bringing them down without a care for their feelings. And you can only achieve this feeling of power whilst hiding behind a computer, taunting people whom consider you a friend...
In other words, you're a dick sometimes. But what's up bro? Get to work on a mobile ND.
|L9||Is this post the new "read"?|
|BNet||true that was a lots of thing i had to correcting lmao|
|sesstehking||Since 9 of those corrections were not technically incorrect, they shall stay and you shall look at them knowing you wasted your time attempting to correct. Though I'm sure you achieved the erection you sought after that you usually get from correcting your fellow NDForum-goers. And two of the grammatical infractions were due to me typing on my phone.
But, #1: "that was a lots of thing" is incorrect.
#2: "i had to correcting" is also incorrect.
As well as the capitalization of the beginning of the sentence as well as "I" due to it being a proper noun.
But I love you bruh. Who's this L9 kid?
|PurpNgold49er||l9 is the kid that thought bnet grammar|
|BNet||Past, I Believe The Word You Are Looking For Is "Taught".|
|L9||God, I love being more intelligent than most people.|
|BNet||l9 mucho faggo LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry l9|
|PurpNgold49er||el nueve es joto|
|Punisher2||im just happy that someone who isn't pun got called dumb.
Congrats sess you can be that guy now!
|sesstehking||Not only do we go way back Net, but I'm also smarter than 85%-90% of the dumbasses on this site.
And when did he call me dumb Pun?
AND I'm flattered you have a bulletin board dedicated to me. Do you still have the picture i sent you of me just cupping my cock'n'balls whilst my feet were aimed to the sky, thus resulting in a perfect brown eye shot? It was from way back when we were spamming and you quit while I was just really starting to develop spammers with PHP and such. Yet we continued to talk on AIM consistantly and constantly.
I was always too embarrassed to say anything but...I really liked talking to you...I think it was more than just e-buddies chatting. There was chemistry...
|BNet||Hey Sess! Couple things:
1. You're of average intelligence =\\
|sesstehking||Well, I'd be insulted if you were fully capable of judging my intellect. However, you've never met me just like I've never met you. Thus all I can be certain of is that you 1: know how to teach yourself web designing languages, which I was fully capable o doing and more than likely and more than capable now, and that 2: you're well spoken and have an above par vocabulary consisting of a wide array of properly used terminology and are not grammatically inferior to anyone on NDForums as far as I know.
I do 't understand why you wish to insult me, however...
|BNet||Sess, how is average an insult? There's nothing wrong with being average, bud -pats head-|
|yofter_in_paris||I've gone 5 days straight without eating
i am turning into a skeleton, i swear
|purpngold49er||go another 5|
|mistero della mente||i can't get back to my portal|
|BNet||shoot a portal at it, then shoot a portal at the ground.|
|BNet||then go through the portal and out the portal to arrival at your portal.|
|mistero della mente||what does that even|
|mistero della mente||oh that terrible game|
|mistero della mente||i forgot what it was called|
|BNet||it is called portal|
|mistero della mente||oh.|
|yofter_in_paris||I remastered the Kerplunk version of "Welcome to Paradise" by Green Day and put it on youtube.
Man it sounds so great now. I hope you guys like the pictures. I'm saddened that I didn't put more in, but for some reason Windows Movie Maker *eye roll* kept crashing. So I had to put fewer photos in the vidya:
|yofter_in_paris||You can hear that it sounds more clearer than the other versions. I ought to become a studio producer one day....*sigh*|
|mistero della mente||yeah man *eye roll* ^_^ *sitting by a pool waiting for someone* *sigh* hes not here yet v_v|
|~dr_dude love~||does sound like pun|
|Punisher2||true but i dont consider the wire better BUT to be fair i only watched 1 full season before i wanted to know how everyone died n youtubed everyones deaths but i dont think it wouldve been better.|
|Past||the wire is by far the best show thats ever been on tv it doesnt get more realer then that.|
|Punisher2||the wire had pretty good realism and such but it was the reason i wanted to watch a tv show.
i wanted to watch a fictional tv show and i was more throughly entertained by walts motivations and downward spiral as a character then the wire.
therefor i refute your claim as the wire as the best tv show
its a show about street dudes selling drugs and the cops who try to catch them
While its a interesting concept i dont watch tv shows for that i just wanna see a good story.
|Punisher2||the wire didnt have nothing tho past
there were no characters you could get attached too because everyone DIES
its like cool and stuff i guess but i feel like if u wanted to know the wires entire plotline u could go visit any hood in a rough place anywhere in the world and you will know the entire story of the wire.
the wire also didnt have a single character as well written as walt.
So BREAKING bad is better its an opinion sure but i believe it to be right.
|Past||marlo and method man dont die lol
and while the overall plot was cops and street dealers there was a different sub plot of inner city problems every season such as immigration, prison, politics, and schools.
|magikarp||so i was watching British Asian pornstar hannah shaw
And i was about to bust and for some reason I always try to fuck myself over like idk why so right before i bust i put misteros face on her body while she's talking in her British accent and if you're in that zone where you're about to bust nd stop you can't really just restart ya know winners don't quit so I just had to stroke it fast as fuck ya know and man it felt like i was gonna have a goddamn heart attack like i think when i came i met jesus