NDFQuoteArchive

.
CLOSE
Quote: #48
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
3 votes
9.3/10
amir25atw K trying to get an afro

Alright im just gonna ask some black chick to braid my hair into 8 sections then im gonna sleep in them and wake up and rat them up

over the summer ill get a tight perm so itll make everything so much easier

lmfao my papaw ratted his hair and it was fucking hilarious
amir25atw Rinoa girls seem to know a lot about hair soooo

How long should I grow my hair before I attempt this?
amir25atw Right now my hair is about 2.25 inches flaccid but everyone knows about how when a guy measures his own hair there is usually a little over exaggerating going on there


Quote: #119
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
6 votes
4.2/10
ENZO What the hell

HOW DO I GET RID OF JESUS?!?
mistero della mente cruci-
atresac -fy

The Magic Number was 3; 12 points!


Quote: #236
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
votes
12/10
BNet decimic, that does it.

i'm only going to say this once, so you better listen up. remember that one time you were telling me you enjoy the Washington Capitals? they're your favorite hockey team? okay well listen up, because i've had it up to here with your shit. you like the capitals, huh? i have an idea, how about you just take a giant capital I and shove that right up your A. i'm fucking sick of hearing you go on and on about the Washington Capitals, it's just getting to the point where i feel like taking the entire state of washington, gluing it to a battering ram, and just running full-steam ahead and cramming it tightly up your bugglewutts. if you don't stop telling me every day about how much you love the Washington Capitals, I will make sure you never shit in a public niggernaggers for the rest of your life. decimic, i am giving you to the count of ten to pack your belongings, and stop shitting all over yourself. all over yourself. you understand? that does it. if you don't say "i understand" in the next 10 seconds, i'm going to... alright that does it. you're dead. i can't fucking stand it anymore, decimic. i've given you plenty of chances and i've just had it up to here with your horse shit. if you don't immediately apologize for all this FUCKING BULLSHIT you've put me through, i swear to god i'm going to just absolutely LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT. alright listen here buddy. don't you ever fucking ignore me like that again. okay, listen. that does it. i'm calling your university and i'm telling them how much you've fucking PISSED ME OFF. okay, i'm calling them right now. good news, decimic, you're EXPELLED!!! the dean of your college just said he was so disgusted by your behavior towards me that he doesn't even WANT YOU BACK!!!! HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU!!!!! he said "tell decimic..... that he better not ever set foot on my university grounds again, or i'm going to eat his shit with a straw" and i asked him politely to be less graphic, but to no avail. also i called the National Office of Transferring Credits to Other Universities (the NOTCOQ) and they said none of your credits will transfer because they are SO FUCKING DISGUSTED BY THE WAY YOU CONSTANTLY ACT. AND CAN YOU BLAME THEM??!?!?! REALLY LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK YOURSELF. CAN YOU BLAME THEM???????????? Do not ever tell me about how much you love the Washington Capitals again, or so help me god, I will write another message just like this, and it will not be pretty. it will be just as non pretty as this one. i'm not even kidding. you think i'm kidding, but i'm not. decimic, that does it. i've had enough. i'm never speaking to you again.
real_decimic But I'm a Pittsburgh Penguins fan. I never said I liked the capitals.

And for the record, I go on and on about Sonic the Hedgehog.


Quote: #238
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
votes
-1/10
L9 two trains pull into a station

one of them says to the other, "boy, have I had a long day"

the other responds, "yeah, I'm WHEELY tired!"


Quote: #180
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
9.8/10
amir25atw Man I remember having sleep paralysis twice:

Once I woke up mentally but I thought I was having a fucking seizure, and until I found out about sleep paralysis I thought it was a seizure.

The second time was during an episode of Seinfeld. Holy shit I got horrible anxiety because all I could hear was Seinfelds voice but there was literally nothing I could do about it.


Quote: #125
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
9/10
magikarp Who the fuck likes peeps?

I mean seriously, I got some in my easter basket. That's like getting candy corn on Halloween.
BNet *watches kaz write this post as part of his stand-up routine*
BNet except he added "am i right people?" and "break for applause"
atresac *am i right peeps?


Quote: #105
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
3 votes
9.3/10
L9 In other news, I think I may have found what my headaches really really really are being caused by (hopefully)
BNet Spontaneous Brain Explosion Disorder
BNet or something of equally horrible magnitude i'm sure


Quote: #98
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
3 votes
9.7/10
mistero della mente pokemon live action movie

I lold
BNet oh man.. me and sac planned to do the same exact thing =[

except we're gonna do it much, much funnier. fuck yeah
mistero della mente are you going to use toys for the pokemon like they did?
BNet no, real pokemon


Quote: #225
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
9.4/10
xXmikeDusXx I have troubles with forum

I'm trying to open forum but sometimes there are no images on it :(
mistero della mente invert your computer's polaric beam
BNet run into your computer monitor at full speed.
Punisher2 Open up your harddrive and put a fork in it


Quote: #315
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
2 votes
8/10
~!unknown1337i~ Crunchy cheez doodles or crunchy cheetos

Cheese doodles
atresac nobody wants you to continue posting on this website
atresac that's not true, i do!
atresac just kidding, that was still me. i wanted to make you feel better, but then i changed my mind
atresac fuck you.


Quote: #172
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
7 votes
7.1/10
Grecian justin bieber would smack the shit out of yellow.

so would taylor swift and miley cyrus.
Yellow Jr. I fucked Miley and Taylor before.
Past LOL Yellow named his right and left hands.


Quote: #166
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
7/10
magikarp does the shut up karp bot work on posts?
Automated Shut up Karp Bot shut up karp


Quote: #85
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
9 votes
8/10
amir25atw Karpppppp i gotta no when ur cominnnn

No homo


Quote: #208
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
7 votes
8.1/10
Yellow Jr. I always see L9 as a skinny dude with long hair who everyone just likes
L9 I'm not exactly skinny, and only a few people ever admitted to liking me
L9 Also I hope this doesn't turn into another "20-25 friends" deal :s
atresac l9 tell us how many friends you have.
magikarp I'm one of your friends, right L9?
Yellow Jr. I'm one of your friends, right L9?
L9 Karp is.

Yellow, shut up.
atresac Yellow, I consider you my friend.
atresac LOL jk get the fuck out.
magikarp Yellow, if it makes you feel any better, if satan ever dangled you and my dog over a pit of boiling lava and he gave me a choice to save you or my dog, I'd choose my dog.


Quote: #367
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
10 votes
7.9/10
L9 I Don't Even Like Girls Yet
Past I agree. I don't like girls either. Girls would come up to me in school and ask me to go out with them, and I'd run away, screaming "Yucky, yucky!"


Quote: #327
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
9.8/10
atresac josh (10:17:33 PM): i just love
josh (10:17:36 PM): with
josh (10:18:03 PM): a one in115 TRILLION chance of getting all the same pokemon
josh (10:18:03 PM): is
josh (10:18:07 PM): 10,000 points
josh (10:18:17 PM): it's like
josh (10:18:36 PM): you slap your dick on the keyboard
josh (10:18:40 PM): and it writes
josh (10:18:42 PM): the bible
josh (10:18:45 PM): and you win like
josh (10:18:50 PM): 1,000 dollars
josh (10:19:02 PM): "eh not bad"


Quote: #9
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
7/10
L9 Announcement

This is a little long, but bear with me. ;P

--

For a while now I have been working something called the NDF Quote Archive.


If you've ever visited bash.org before, you know what a quote database is. If not, it is essentially this: an archive of funny, interesting, or overall notable "quotes" from AIM conversations, forums, IRC (internet relay chat), etc. etc.


I decided to make a quote database for this forum. You can find it here:





Here's how you submit quotes. First, click the "Submit a Quote" link. In the input field labeled "Post #", type in any valid post number (ex. 89577, 90740).

From here, click the or - buttons to add or remove reply boxes. Once you have enough, simply type the number of the reply you want quoted in the input field labeled "Reply #", and hit "Load".

The message and its author will automatically come up in the large box on the right!

You can type "0" in the Reply # field if you want to load the original post, i.e. the main message before all the replies. ;) This loads the title of the post as well.


Once that's out of the way, just hit "Submit" on the bottom. And that's it!


You can check out the various quotes that have been submitted on the "Random Quotes", "All Quotes", and "Filter Quotes" pages. All quotes can be rated on a 0 to 10 scale.


A more detailed description of the QDB and its functions is coming soon, and that will be written on the "About" page.


So if you ever find a conversation here especially amusing, funny, or COOL, go ahead and submit it to the QDB.

And if you have any questions, feel free to ask.
atresac 8/10


Quote: #260
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
3 votes
10/10
atresac that's it

I've had enough of all the stupid abuse I take from all you guys. Always telling me to eat your shit and kiss the fattest parts of your assholes and being mean to me, I don't need to take this shit!

L9, I've had it up to here with you pointing out all of my minor spelling errors to make yourself feel better about yourself! go see your therapist about it! you suck!

mistero, I'm sick of you being british ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE, and every time someone just politely asks you to not be so british, you just KEEP DOING IT and then tell me to do obscene acts to you. Get a life!

Bnet, I've had enough of you always telling me to die and kill myself! Guess what? I don't want to! In fact, why don't YOU kill yourself instead you worthless piece of shit? And no, I will not EVER eat a smorgasbord full of nigger balls, stop asking!

karp, kiss my fucking ass.

I'm leaving this forum forever because I've had enough of all the constant abuse!
atresac hey guys I'm back, sorry about that outburst a while back, I don't know what came over me.


Quote: #414
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
9/10
atresac i'll be nice to ddl
atresac hey ddl, have a nice daFUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EAT EVERY!!!! SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!! DICK ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
atresac shit, i messed up.


Quote: #150
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
3 votes
9.3/10
BNet Bruhh.. contest will probably be closer to 11 actually

yeah sorry my dad's late getting here D;
Magikarp You don't drive?
BNet i do, i don't own a car.
mistero della mente pretend you do and make exaggerated driving noises


Quote: #288
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
9.8/10
Past (last post) Read

Ok I though i might as well make the last post, since i wasnt allowed to make one before being banned. After this post you will never see me on this site again.

I would like to apologize to the majority of you who I may have offended, after all its not your fault you cant see whats really going on here so yeah my bad ,BUT a few members on here i refuse to apologize to.

Ill start with Enzo, you\\'re a true asshole the only reason I ever made fun of you is because you always went at me like im stopping you from eating, you\\'re still pathetic as fuck to me, you\\'re still talking about me??? wow move on with your life.

next Artesac you are by far the biggest asshole on this site, and if you wernt sucking Bnets dick every Saturday any other admin would have banned you.

And Finally the big faggot himself, Bnet you\\'re the biggest hypocrite on this site. Way to assassinate my character, I used to do that to people back in the day I know exactly what you did even though half these dickriders cant see it. I just hope it was all worth it for you, you always had a grudge on me, if it wasnt for Mafia or my proboard this site would have never existed thanks and fuck you rot in the ground.

With that being said I wish the best for the rest of you with your lives and if you ever come out to LA we can get blunted if you know what I mean. Oh and DMX Miley Cyrus is crazy she be throwing parties all the time shes down. Anyway Im out of this bitch to do bigger things thanks for entertaining me on my free time over the years, bye!
punisher2 Offtopic buttt

hannah montana.. hm. i remember she was just kid on that stupid show miley cyrus now shes coming of age and she is actually IDK why but i like her does anyone else here find her attractive?? lmao i dunno wut it is she seems pretty normal i actually dont really understand why so many people her like to begin with


Quote: #323
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
9.8/10
L9 I HATE YOU!!!!
BNet overrated band
atresac I don't think you understand the amount of time, effort, and talent that goes into producing an I HATE YOU!!!! song.

Recently, We have been hard at work proving the existence of the Higgs Boson particle, and utilizing its unique physical attributes to provide more resonance during the recording process. Additionally, We have been producing artificial black holes, and record the drum tracks within the event horizon, the time-warping properties allowing Us to play in time signatures that do not actually exist in this reality.

Furthermore, every note We transcribe onto paper is diligently studied, tested, and peer reviewed by Ourselves and all of Our past musical instructors and teachers, including, but not limited to, Master Splinter, Jesus, Mozart (not the one most of you are familiar with, but of a parallel dimension, which the aforementioned time signatures are native to), Lord English, Kratos, and [NAME REDACTED], Emissary to the Noble Circle of The Elder Gods of The Farthest Ring.

Please, before you talk about "overrated bands," do a little bit of research.


Quote: #201
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
2 votes
8/10
L9 wisdom teeth in less than 12 hours

consolation plz
mistero della mente death,
mistero della mente agonising pain
mistero della mente complete dread and terror
mistero della mente they'll accidentally pull your jawbone out instead of your teeth


Quote: #131
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
5 votes
9.6/10
~dr_dude love~ bout to stream

gimmie a few
atresac I'll watch.
Yellow Jr. If he ever figures out how to work it. o;
~dr_dude love~ how the hell do i work this?


Quote: #176
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
7/10
mistero della mente o. sac you can have my computer it just needs a new hard drive
atresac I'm getting a new one soon and it's going to KILL EVERYTHING.
mistero della mente get a mac i heard they have heat seaking virus busting capabilities super powered hot rod inducing no wires runs on self sustaining cool guy who wears cool clothes mac its supposed to be good


Quote: #177
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
9.5/10
~dr_dude love~ getting your phone stolen when your at football practice

1/10

with 3 other friends =\\
mistero della mente maybe it's still in your hand


Quote: #164
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
6 votes
9.8/10
Grecian on the subject of kim kardashian

whether you like her face or not you'd still do her because she has a great body and is probably better in bed than any girl you'll ever be with so i dont believe any of you who say you wouldnt.

if you're going to have a thread like that then at least have someone who is not a no contest like jessica biel or something.
BNet grecian, i wouldn't even touch her and i mean that with complete honesty.
Grecian you're biased because she's a slutty dumb celebrity. which is understandable.

but i mean, in an alternate reality where she was not a celebrity, just a normal girl, you knew her and she was into you, and she looked exactly the way she does now.

you still wouldnt?
BNet i'm just not attracted to her, sorry
Grecian oh i get it. and i mean, fair enough.

what about george clooney?


Quote: #184
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
2 votes
9/10
LottoBot Getting to make 1 post a week about some stupid lottery

2/10
Dan Back in your cage.
punisher2 hey you work on your decimals and they you will get more than 1 post a week!


Quote: #295
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
7 votes
8/10
xjt22 Look at me i'm L9 im an angry racist!

i'm mad at hitler so i take it out on black guys oh oh oh nigger soup nigger tits nigger dick!!!! im just one racist fucker and i suck on ole bnets racist dick!!!!
BNet my dick isn't racist
L9 wait what
BNet xjt thinks my dick is racist, that's all


Quote: #399
Vote:Vote:
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
4 votes
3/10
purpngold49er Fuck all that , the dirtiest bitchs do that and give the bitch that wants to dome you some herpes you dont want that. There better out just making out on my dick, then passing each other herpes.
xjt22 what
purpngold49er ok ill try to sound as white as possible

so dude there is like this chick i was trying to hook up with but she got drunk and starting making out with becky the neighborhood slut who we all know has a sexually transmitted disease , cause it was the "cool" thing to do, so now im like hold on you cant suck my dick anymore cause you just made out with the garbage truck im good.

So I dont condone girls kissing girls cause some dirty std slut will come along and give them a monster called herpes, when they could of been totally making out with my wiener and been safe. But now we have a herpes epidemic and shortening of head givers cause of that blasphemy.



Random Quotes | Alt. Random (Classic) | All Quotes | Search / Filter Quotes | Submit a Quote | FAQ | About
Copyright L9 2009-2014 | Based on www.bash.org | www.ndforums.com Copyright BNet & Dan 2005-2014