|yofter mofter kofter||I am alive.
|magikarp||That's too bad, try to fix it.|
|BNet||no offense past but
i would rather hire zaza to moderate my site than you
|xjt22||i miss the 2010-13 jakey who would try to fuck different black girls who were run aways or bit his feeet or had pink hair or were my ex boyfriend, where the old amir|
|magikarp||What did you get your mom for mother's day?|
|amir25atw||I woke her up at 6:30 to tell her her breath smells then I ran over her favorite flowerbed when I left.|
|BNet||I made cookies.
Would anyone like a cookies?
|L9||They look great. I wish I could make cookies.|
|L9||bigger fish to fry, so to speak|
|BNet||oh i get it, L9. you're too fucking good to make cookies. yeah, okay. yeah, be a fucking asshole, sure.|
|Punisher2||yeah they sure look nice outside but they are loaded with boogers in actuality.
my mother always told me looks weren't everything, and now i see this to be true.
|BNet||pun if you ever speak again, i'll throw you away.|
|Amir25atw||hey i never knew that Cops was all staged
|BNet||Link or it didn't happen.|
|L9||It is? That would be a shame.|
|amir25atw||no lol i just left to my room after posting that i figured id come back in 5 mins and say "jk" but i forgot :/|
|amir25atw||Bnet i had you shitting your pants dont lie|
|mistero della mente||so i was going to buy god of war 3
but the new lord of the rings trilogy on bluray just looks sexy. i'm buying it for the box alone.
i don't think i have enough money left for god of war 3 now. =[
|atresac||Lord of the Rings? What a fucking faggot and I'm not even joking.
Lord of the Rings does not have anyone ripping heads off with their bare hands.
Hand over your testicles.
|mistero della mente||pokemon live action movie
|BNet||oh man.. me and sac planned to do the same exact thing =[
except we're gonna do it much, much funnier. fuck yeah
|mistero della mente||are you going to use toys for the pokemon like they did?|
|BNet||no, real pokemon|
|BNet||my salary is literally infinite|
|BNet||my bi-weekly paycheck is just a note of surrender from every nation on earth|
i never said dave chapelle was a piece of shit i meant paul mooney cuz dave chapelles funny as hell. i never saw his show but ive seen enough clips on youtube to prolly piece togehter 2 seasons lmao
|L9||Shut the fuck up, amir.|
|amir25atw||i bet when you mow the lawn it looks like
just like your hair you fat bitch dont talk to me
|L9||aa that was actually a pretty good'n|
|L9||oh but didn't you read the other post? I don't have a lawn.
I don't have hair, either.
|L9||My skin is very smooth, like a baby's.|
|L9||My head glistens in the sun.|
|L9||Do you want to lick my head, amir?|
|L9||Do you want to lick my brain?|
|ENZO||She's Out of My League
I want to fuck the main girl/10
|Past||shes out of your league|
...know of a good cracked copy of Wind0w5 7?
|L9||Do you think somebody is going to hunt you down if you type "Windows 7"|
|BNet||ezno, i'll have you (ez)know that i spent a cupola precious minutes finding a way to post from my shitty phone browser, just so i could say you're a goddamn idiot|
|magikarp||Dude, tell your mom to get me some bosco sticks.|
|BNet||i will instead tell my mom to give you negative bosco sticks, so that the next time you get a real bosco stick, you will still be in the negative amount of bosco sticks and therefore will not actually have a bosco stick.|
bring back thumbs down
|Punisher2||the people want
the people want
|BNet||if by "the people" you mean "pun and past"
the two worst "the people" on the site
|mistero della mente||make a button that decides if we want a thumbs down button|
|mistero della mente||then give that button a thumbs down button so we can thumbs down it|
|L9||HERE AT NDF, WE LIKE TO SIMULATE PARTIES|
|L9||just re-bought the same earbuds I was using
and decided I'd take better care of them this time.
the bass isn't as good with these new ones though for some reason. :^(
|BNet||try adding a little lemon seasoning to your bass!|
|mistero della mente||my dad should be dead and he's not. kinda annoyed at that.|
|magikarp||Why should he be dead?|
|atresac||because he shot him in the head.|
|atresac||british dads are immortal.|
waking up tomorrow at 6 am just to get my report card from school and then leave
|L9||They don't mail it to you?|
|DuelmonkeyX||they do but i kept forgetting to give them a self addressed envelope|
|Grecian||that is your own fault for being stupid and forgetting, you completely deserve to get up at 6am. in fact, give me your phone number and im going to call you at 4am just to punish you further.|
|amir25atw||Cuz i wanted to see all the madden covers and garrison hearst was on the first cover and he bashed the gay esera guy cuz he came out of the closet when he retired and he also took part in the gay gaymes|
|amir25atw||LOL Gay Gaymes good one amir|
|Yellow Jr.||Hey L9
I bet you haven't even read all the Harry Potter books and you go on like you know English so fucking good you ain't know shit from a brick
|L9||Shut up. I know English great. My English is great.|
|PurpNGold49er||l9 > bnet
as far as english
but bnet > l9 everything other then that
|BNet||Excuse me, Past, but I believe you mean "everything other thin that." Thin is used for comparison, you Neanderthal.|
|PurpNGold49er||stop being mad l9 is better at english|
|BNet||Please, please reconsider! I know a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, I know so many grammars, I write professional books.|
|BNet||I was once praised with the following: "Knows a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, knows so many grammars, writes professional books."|
|DuelmonkeyX||GOT MY LICENSE
|magikarp||Good for you, now go get in a car crash.|
|DuelmonkeyX||How about I let you ride with me and you can suck my dick while I drive?|
|magikarp||If that would distract you enough to crash, sure.|
|xjt22||Brandon Allred - "I have a strong sexual desire for girls in wheelchairs."|
You should have a review post option before you post, that way you can see if the link or whatever you post works properly. ;O Also, allows to fix typos and what not.
|Grecian||we already have something to fix typos.
his name is L9
|L9||mistero as someone who lives across a body of water roughly the size of the lower north american continent what do you make of all this immigration business we have down here|
|mistero della mente||well it brought ddl into your country, so
pretty much the worst thing that can happen to america
|mistero della mente||i don't actually know if ddl has mexican ancestry, but i don't like ddl|
|magikarp||does the shut up karp bot work on posts?|
|Automated Shut up Karp Bot||shut up karp|
|Punisher2||name the first word that comes to your head
no i dont know why.
|Punisher2||dont be a murderer|
|Past||id go to jail for assault, attempted murder, and manslaughter|
|Past||there is a shooting every day here, and im sure their is a shooting in detriot, chicago, d.c, baltimore everyday as well.|
|Past||thats what happens when there is too many homos|
|Grecian||so fucked up right now
dont know what i am doing. making problems for myself and generally ebing a huge dickhead but at this point i feel lik ethis is what i need to do and this is what i want. im fucking retarded and just in general a piece of shit and i hate myself. everything about me, down to my core, is disrespectful and untrustworthy, but i dont give a fuck. i dont understand because i am usually so compassionate. maybe i will regret my actions in a few hours or maybe not but the situation still remains i hate everything about my life and i want to make it better. i dont know how to, and i wish i could do it without the assistant of alcohol but i really cant. sorry for putting this all on ndf but i have no one else to turn to. you guys are not only my friends but on occasion a neutral party that (somewhat) care about me but are neuttral you know. dont judge me but fuuuuck i no longer know what to do, who i am, or rhow i feel. nothing makes sense and my feels are fucked. i am depressed and probably need medication but i will lie so i can continue drinking because it is fun for me and i enjoy it even if i am alone when i do it sometimes.
|uiif||I'm glad i'm not a loser.|
|atresac||Tonight at 8
I am going to stream a movie for all of us to watch as a family.
|Magikarp||What movie? :L|
|Magikarp||Sounds like an interesting movie.|
|Shine||Shine For Life
|atresac||horse mask at school
so i brought my horse mask to school today and wore it in sociology. i'm usually (read: always) the first one there because the bus drops me off about half an hour before class starts, so i just sorta sit there with the mask on making everyone's day a bit more surreal as they walk in. the teacher got a kick out of it but said i had to take it off during the lesson >:(
my visual art teacher on the other hand let me wear it the entire class. and i did.
then i had to go to the school convenience store to buy scantrons, and i had the mask in my hand and set it on the counter when i signed the receipt. the girl working the cash register (who had this shirt showing off these giant tits) asks me "ok, i probably don't wanna know but.... what is that"
"it's my other face"
and that's the end of that conversation.
and as i walk out some girl asks me, while i'm holding the mask "are you a horse?" and i just look at her all matter-of-factly "do i LOOK like a horse?"
also some older lady saw me with it next to me on the bench and got a real kick out of it and said she wanted one of her own.
|atresac||i also wore it to:
i waited at the bus stop dancing with the mask on, with cars honking at me when they drive by. when i get to work i dance in and pick up my paycheck, my managers not quite knowing what to make of me. when i got changed into my work clothes and put the mask in my bag, they asked why i had a mask and i said "what mask?" and then told them they must mean my twin brother yorick, who has equine facial disorder.
a bunch of black dudes suggesting that i was tripping balls. i dropped off a job application (my plan was to drop off a bunch and hope one of the store managers had a good enough sense of humor). i had some people ask for hugs and photos when security came and threw me out.
the guy was like "what possessed you to do this"
"well it's not funny"
"it was a little funny"
"no it wasn't"
"not even a little?"
fuck that guy though, it was hilarious