|amir25atw||yofter i bet you skinned somebody before aint ya|
|yofter_in_paris||i've done a lot of rough things|
|magikarp||dont you hate them niggas who fart loud as fuck when they poop
Shit i at least clinch my cheeks together and try to make it go quiet but niggas at my work be savages bruh i go in to take a piss and they just let that shit go every which way
|magikarp||I peeped what shoes he was wearin today turns out it was a motherfucker that works on my line. Swear I didnt even look his direction the rest of the day. Nasty ass|
|yofter_in_paris||I've gone 5 days straight without eating
i am turning into a skeleton, i swear
|purpngold49er||go another 5|
|Punisher2||I got cable for the first time in years
they are still playing boy meets world on abc family.
tv is useless.
|Punisher2||abc family not abc|
|Punisher2||I better not find full house and fresh prince on nick still or else ill curse out someone.|
|Punisher2||Might as well put this remote in the fridge.|
|Punisher2||There's a grand prix track around the corner from my house
all i hear is
WHOOMMMMM WHOOM WHOOOM
|Punisher2||more like grand pricks|
|yellow Jr.||Americans in the hood
So I'm walking to get a pack of cigarettes and this black dude with braids and gold teeth and shades and shit comes up and he's like "yo, whatchu looking white boy?"
Now naturally I say what I say to these kind of people back home; nuttin, I'm good.
So he sees my watch (G-Shock with gold trim. Black, looks sexy) and he's like "yo, how bout you gimmie yo watch lil man"
Firstly; This is the first time a black person decided to try and fuck with me in the States, my accent usually keeps me good in the hoods here.
Now, given my history, you would expect me to be like "oh fuck" and start bolting towards the gas station, but not today. I told him "guh suck yuh mudda" and turned around and walked off. Then he grabbed my shoulder. I reacted almost instinctively, turned right the fuck around, put my hand around the back of his head and rammed my forehead as hard as I could into his mouth/nose. All I saw was blood everywhere on the ground in front of this guy when I looked at him, but I decided to walk off like nothing was wrong. I went back later on to go check my homie who I get weed from, and see this guy in front of said gas station as I'm walking with my homie. He fucking looks at me and doesn't say SHIT. Cause I laid him out in front of like four people, so he must've been pretty fucking salty but to embarrassed to try and get his respect back only to have his ass handed to him by the white Jamaican with blonde hair.
Felt pretty good. Too bad it didn't happen after I got this message today, but that's a different story.
|yofter_in_paris||Shut the fuck up you are not cool, tl;dr|
|purpngold49er||LOL i got to agree with yofter|
|amir25atw||i was at a buffet with papaw yesterday and he got 2 scoops of pudding and 1 scoop of ranch he ate a spoonful of ranch nd was like "that aint puddin"|
Still impersonating pastypast even after all these years. Pathetic. You've gone nowhere!
Now here, have a link to some real music instead of that stupid shit you listen to trying to sound all cultured
|og bubba kush||as a general manager of ndforums.com i enforce strict policy on the amount of homo being posted, this is your first warning.|
|magikarp||Hey everyone knows i pick sides by who says the funniest shit|
|yofter_in_paris||ADIDAS are cool
Nike looks like shite by comparison.
ADIDAS makes me look retro. like 80s or 90s. haha
|atresac||i will pay you $20 if you can find a SINGLE PERSON ON **EARTH** who gives a shit.|
|Yellow Jr.||Who's close to Mississippi and wants to link up
Cause I'm here
|atresac||if i lived in mississippi, upon hearing you were there, i would move as far away as i possibly could.
in fact, i just checked and on the opposite side of the planet of mississippi is the middle of the indian ocean with no sign of land for hundred of miles. i would move there, and then kill myself.
|atresac||the inescapable fact that, at some point in the universe's 14 billion year lifespan, at least one atom that currently makes up my body, and one atom that currently makes up yours, would have existed in the same physical structure, keeps me awake for nights on end, and makes me want to die.|
|atresac||if god existed and came down to me, stepping his divine-ass bare-footed godfeet on this turgid dirt rock that is the regrettable home of brady "yellow" jr and told me that he would, without drawback or any consequence of temporal paradox, end all suffering, world hunger, make hitler never rise to power, make slavery never exist, cure all diseases, and make it so everyone who ever lived or will live knew nothing but joy and happiness, all on the single condition that i spend one afternoon with you in bumfuck missi-fucking-ssippi.
i would tell him i am an atheist.
|duelmonkeyx||shut the fuck up kelly god damn|
|Omgsports2||Wen r u going to japan
The Magic Number was 10; 15 points!
|duelmonkeyx||I changed my mind. Im going to Madrid and then Paris so I can be BILL9 in paris|
|Omgsports2||Ur such a pussy y not go bak 2 ur roots!!! Ur home land!!!|
|duelmonkeyx||Bitch you go back to the homeland then. Ebola waiting for you|
|Punisher2||Amir, Karp, Kelly
Amir's a fag, don't ever trust him.
karp is the worst thing that ever happened to ndf he's like a really bad shit when you look back in the toilet after eating a burrito.
Kelly, is a sellout and faggot too.
Kelly calls amir and karp gay behind their back.
its a vicious cycle how all you guys talk shit behind each others back but i'm done with it. Amir and karp are the king of this though ever since they came together. All of you are fake as fuck.
|magikarp||LMAO the fuck|
|magikarp||i haven't talked to you in like three years, little boy|
|Punisher2||i wouldnt want to talk to trash like you|
|Punisher2||you look down on people.|
|Punisher2||go stare at the big fucking post of yourself you fucking faggot.|
|magikarp||Do u even lift faggot|
|Punisher2||I don't care about that stuff.
Your the one whos full of himself you need to lift or you'll feel like a small little man.
You'll be the dude who gets looked at by dudes like you (now) and wondered why such a ugly little dude has a better girl than you when your SO AWESOME, but you're still ugly.
|magikarp||Take your ol pizza face lookin ass back to papa johns|
|Punisher2||throw yourself into the garbage where you fit in better.|
Dude your whole life's garbo. you're 24 and afraid to fucking get a job and live a real life i can't believe Im actually arguing with some bitch who's main 3 priorities in life are jerking it, video games, and sleeping.
Im not even trying to be a dick but instead of bitching about us go get some fuckin ambition you poor excuse for a human
|magikarp||Pun if you dont hop off my dick Im gonna post something you dont want me to post here. now please quit acting like a little bitch, thank you.|
|Omgsports2||e's like a really bad shit when you look back in the toilet after eating a burrito.
|magikarp||Shut up Kelly ya fuckin turd|
|Omgsports2||Man whatever man I don't even like u guys|
|Omgsports2||OH IM KARP OOOO I HAVE REAL LIFE FRIENDS OOOO I LOST WEIGHT YEA I GO TO THE HYM DO U EEN LIFT OOOO MY ONLINE FRIENDS R INSIGNIFICANT FUCK YOU I CANT BEAT YOUR BROTHER IN MADDEN WITH THE JAGUARS ANYMORE CUZ UR A FUCK!!!!'n|
|Omgsports2||MADDEN IS LIFE AND U AND UR BROTHER R RUINING IT|
|Omgsports2||BREAKING NEWS DDL CALLED US CHILDISH FOR BEEFING OVER MADDEN
YES THE MAN THAT CONSTANTLY USES POOR HARD WORKING MOTHERS NETFLIX ACCOUNTS CALLED US CHILDISH PEOPLE!!
|magikarp||Its funny because you wouldnt even talk to me face to face like this. Im not even saying I'd beat your ass but like, you're actually AFRAID of people. it's sad, your whole existence is sad, really.|
|Punisher2||i've been hit before.
why would i be scared.
|magikarp||And plus you jerk off in your aunts panties and call your best friend a nigger. that's fucked up LMAO|
|Punisher2||the post is true i would yell it loud and proud if i ever saw you.
your a piece of dirt
|magikarp||Pun you're fuckin weird man
|Punisher2||you drink your own piss you inbred little faggot|
|Punisher2||ill piss in your mouth if you want you gay little piece of shit|
|BNet||I made cookies.
Would anyone like a cookies?
|L9||They look great. I wish I could make cookies.|
|L9||bigger fish to fry, so to speak|
|BNet||oh i get it, L9. you're too fucking good to make cookies. yeah, okay. yeah, be a fucking asshole, sure.|
|Punisher2||yeah they sure look nice outside but they are loaded with boogers in actuality.
my mother always told me looks weren't everything, and now i see this to be true.
|BNet||pun if you ever speak again, i'll throw you away.|
|magikarp||so last night i found out I have a twin brother
When we were born my parents weren't able to take care of us both. a married couple in Atlanta were interested in one of us and drove to Michigan while my mom was pregnant and they stayed in touch until she had me and my brother. when we were born my parents and the couple felt it was best to raise us as our own person, not to let us know we had a twin until we were old enough. our parents stayed in touch this entire time and i guess a week ago they told Ben (my twin) and last night my mom told me. Im gonna talk to him tonight. My mom told me his interests and its funny for the most part we like the same music and movies but he has a pretty thick southern accent
|atresac||if there are two karps i am killing myself right now because this isn't what i signed on for when i entered this plane of existence.|
|magikarp||What ever happened to Sess?
I never really talked to him but I remember when we put my dog down and I was really depressed about it he made a post and said he loved me haha he was cool
|L9||He's just on another hiatus. He pops back in every now and then.|
|Og Bubba Kush||idk bnet was a asshole he banned him and sess aint the type to kiss your ass, if you dont like him he dont fuck with you lol sess is a cool dude tho one of the realest people i ever met on the internet but like l9 said he might be locked up again cause he did have a case coming up.|
|L9||Right, I mentioned his upcoming case in my post.|
|magikarp||So I ate a ghost pepper, then rubbed my hands on my dick
Eating the ghost pepper was bad enough, I couldn't talk or breathe, I would go to talk and it would just be mumbo jumbo. My veins were sticking out in my head and I felt like I was having a heart attack. Have that all on video.
Then that pain went away and was like "I wonder what my dick would feel like" and just rubbed my hands on my dick and this is the worst pain I've ever been in.
|magikarp||I'd rather go through eating the ghost pepper three times than feel this pain on my cock|
|Punisher2||americas funniest home videos|
|mistero della mente||americas most disturbing home videos|
|mistero della mente||americas bleach your eyes out home videos|
|BNet||americas got talent|
|duelmonkeyx||the cereal or the marshmallow bar|
|Punisher2||marshmellow bar sounds interesting i may need to try this.|
|Punisher2||wait u mean they make these with mash mellows too? I need to try that kind.|
|Punisher2||or is there already marshmellows in that? if so i never noticed them.|
|duelmonkeyx||thats how they're stuck together|
|Punisher2||oh i never knew that.|
|magikarp||I'd rather go through eating the ghost pepper three times than feel this pain on my cock|
|atresac||you should put it in a wood chipper to ease the pain|
|BNet||"Cocoa puffs turns everything chocolaty, even the milk!"|
|Omgsports2||Ur mouth too|
|BNet||xjt schooling me on chocolate over here|
|atresac||i'll be nice to ddl|
|atresac||hey ddl, have a nice daFUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EAT EVERY!!!! SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!! DICK ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|atresac||shit, i messed up.|
|purpngold49er||xjt i can help you too dumbass im about to be 26|
|Omgsports2||yea your a 26 year old who talks about sports with 19 year olds who you uses to prostitute out as spammers on a gaming website, lets not forget you but fake jerseys out of vans, you need to get out of the house and find a better life u hikkomori prick|
|~!unknown1337i~||I just drank an entire can of fanta orange soda.
It was great.
|atresac||whoa, a WHOLE CAN????
look out guys! unknown is OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
|atresac||i mean, gosh, a whole can... that's like..... 12 ounces!!! twelve WHOLE fluid ounces!!! holy MOLEY!!|
|atresac||that's a whopping 160 calories!|
|atresac||and forty-four grams of sugar, FIFTEEN PERCENT of your daily recommended dosage!|
|atresac||not to mention the fifty-five milligrams of sodium, a jaw-dropping two percent of your daily recommended allowance!|
|atresac||unknown, you MUST be yanking me when you are telling me you consumed a can consisting of a mixture of Carbonated water, sugar, orange fruit from concentrate (5%), citric acid, vegetable concentrates (carrot and pumpkin), natural orange flavouring with other natural flavourings, preservative (potassium sorbate), malic acid, acidity regulator (sodium citrate), sweeteners (acesulfame-K, aspartame), antioxidant (ascorbic acid), stabiliser (guar gum). Contains a source of phenylalanine.|
|atresac||the acidity regulator (sodium citrate) dude!!!!!! GAD-ZOOKS.|
|Omgsports2||I lov coming home to no food in the house when my mom grocery shopped yeterday|
|magikarp||Nigga how old are you and you're expecting dawn to give you snack packs on a silver platter n shit|
|BNet||This. Fuck off, XJT22.|
|L9||XJT, with all due respect, fuck you.|
|magikarp||Yeah why don't you ask for some breast milk while you're at it you little baby back bitch|
|duelmonkeyx||Yea nigga you want me to cut your food up into little pieces too?|
|magikarp||You want me to chew up your chocolate pudding snack pack then regurgitate it in your mouth bitch nigga?|
I went out to get a PS Vita today.
NO STORES had them! The damn thing has been completely discontinued apparently (or at least for the time being, I assume).
This is so much more stupid and annoying to me than it should be but it really ruined my day. :\\
|L9||However, I did get a 32GB PS Vita memory card!!!!|
|Punisher2||nice consolation prize|
|Punisher2||The one bad quality about this place is
my mom before i came told me to make sure i say thank you for things and so i have been like when my aunt makes me food or something.
But see yesterday she woke me up at 9 am after i stayed up late to give me breakfast, when i couldve just woke up later and then ate before doing whatever i had to do for the day.
I was tired all day because of that which is funny because she said that she wouldn't chase me around about wut to eat and wutnot because im a grown man i can make stuff for myself etc'
im with that though i dont always need a cooked meal when i wake up, i can eat cereal too.
|L9||mention to her the night before that you might go to bed kinda late so you're gonna sleep in|
|Punisher2||the heartbleed bug?
A newly discovered bug in widely used Web encryption technology has affected many major websites. The security bug, named Heartbleed, may impact secure Web servers. Cox Web services including MyAccount, MyConnection, Webmail, Internet Tools, and Phone Tools are not impacted by this issue. For more information, visit
this from my isp though you pals might wanna check out ur stuff though!
|BNet||It affected NDForums as well.
I'm sorry guys, but all of your credit cards have been stolen by me, BNet.
|BNet||Pun, I am enjoying an all-expense paid trip to the Bahamas as we speak.|
|BNet||Pun, for that sarcastic remark, I am traveling to all competing resorts in the area and booking non-refundable suites for dates spanning the next 6 weeks.|
|~dr_dude love~||My current situation.
So you have been probably been wondering, "Hey wheres DDL??" "gosh! I miss how he blessed us with his glory and honor of attending such site" well yeah I recently moved to a p nice apartment for the time being. (reasons that will not be explained because my dad is dumb) but yeah had to move out of the old maxypad to a semi nice maxypad. I have to whore some fucks wifi to get online and do homework and shit. Tried using a hotspot app from cydia but 3G blows to the max so yeah. I also got to connect my laptop to the house computer monitor because the screen backlight is shot. I probably wont be posting much here until I move into the new house in couple months (2 tops but ehhhhhhhhhh who knows) But yeah I hope you enjoyed a laugh out of my expense. Hope to see you guys in hell soon baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
|BNet||seriously, who is this.|
|duelmonkeyx||Man fuck ddl|
|mistero della mente||only reason i clicked the link to this post was because i thought it was spoon
shut up ddl
|magikarp||I tried to do a handstand in my bedroom
Got on my hands, started swinging my legs, sliced my forehead on my bed frame, landed on my neck. I thought I was paralyzed for a second until I moved. Whoo, what a relief right guys?
|BNet||god forbid you end up in a wheelchair|