|magikarp||So I ate a ghost pepper, then rubbed my hands on my dick
Eating the ghost pepper was bad enough, I couldn't talk or breathe, I would go to talk and it would just be mumbo jumbo. My veins were sticking out in my head and I felt like I was having a heart attack. Have that all on video.
Then that pain went away and was like "I wonder what my dick would feel like" and just rubbed my hands on my dick and this is the worst pain I've ever been in.
|magikarp||I'd rather go through eating the ghost pepper three times than feel this pain on my cock|
|Punisher2||americas funniest home videos|
|mistero della mente||americas most disturbing home videos|
|mistero della mente||americas bleach your eyes out home videos|
|BNet||americas got talent|
|duelmonkeyx||the cereal or the marshmallow bar|
|Punisher2||marshmellow bar sounds interesting i may need to try this.|
|Punisher2||wait u mean they make these with mash mellows too? I need to try that kind.|
|Punisher2||or is there already marshmellows in that? if so i never noticed them.|
|duelmonkeyx||thats how they're stuck together|
|Punisher2||oh i never knew that.|
|magikarp||I'd rather go through eating the ghost pepper three times than feel this pain on my cock|
|atresac||you should put it in a wood chipper to ease the pain|
|BNet||"Cocoa puffs turns everything chocolaty, even the milk!"|
|Omgsports2||Ur mouth too|
|BNet||xjt schooling me on chocolate over here|
|atresac||i'll be nice to ddl|
|atresac||hey ddl, have a nice daFUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EAT EVERY!!!! SINGLE!!!!!!!!!!! DICK ON EARTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!|
|atresac||shit, i messed up.|
|purpngold49er||xjt i can help you too dumbass im about to be 26|
|Omgsports2||yea your a 26 year old who talks about sports with 19 year olds who you uses to prostitute out as spammers on a gaming website, lets not forget you but fake jerseys out of vans, you need to get out of the house and find a better life u hikkomori prick|
|~!unknown1337i~||I just drank an entire can of fanta orange soda.
It was great.
|atresac||whoa, a WHOLE CAN????
look out guys! unknown is OUT OF CONTROL!!!!!
|atresac||i mean, gosh, a whole can... that's like..... 12 ounces!!! twelve WHOLE fluid ounces!!! holy MOLEY!!|
|atresac||that's a whopping 160 calories!|
|atresac||and forty-four grams of sugar, FIFTEEN PERCENT of your daily recommended dosage!|
|atresac||not to mention the fifty-five milligrams of sodium, a jaw-dropping two percent of your daily recommended allowance!|
|atresac||unknown, you MUST be yanking me when you are telling me you consumed a can consisting of a mixture of Carbonated water, sugar, orange fruit from concentrate (5%), citric acid, vegetable concentrates (carrot and pumpkin), natural orange flavouring with other natural flavourings, preservative (potassium sorbate), malic acid, acidity regulator (sodium citrate), sweeteners (acesulfame-K, aspartame), antioxidant (ascorbic acid), stabiliser (guar gum). Contains a source of phenylalanine.|
|atresac||the acidity regulator (sodium citrate) dude!!!!!! GAD-ZOOKS.|
|Omgsports2||I lov coming home to no food in the house when my mom grocery shopped yeterday|
|magikarp||Nigga how old are you and you're expecting dawn to give you snack packs on a silver platter n shit|
|BNet||This. Fuck off, XJT22.|
|L9||XJT, with all due respect, fuck you.|
|magikarp||Yeah why don't you ask for some breast milk while you're at it you little baby back bitch|
|duelmonkeyx||Yea nigga you want me to cut your food up into little pieces too?|
|magikarp||You want me to chew up your chocolate pudding snack pack then regurgitate it in your mouth bitch nigga?|
I went out to get a PS Vita today.
NO STORES had them! The damn thing has been completely discontinued apparently (or at least for the time being, I assume).
This is so much more stupid and annoying to me than it should be but it really ruined my day. :\\
|L9||However, I did get a 32GB PS Vita memory card!!!!|
|Punisher2||nice consolation prize|
|Punisher2||The one bad quality about this place is
my mom before i came told me to make sure i say thank you for things and so i have been like when my aunt makes me food or something.
But see yesterday she woke me up at 9 am after i stayed up late to give me breakfast, when i couldve just woke up later and then ate before doing whatever i had to do for the day.
I was tired all day because of that which is funny because she said that she wouldn't chase me around about wut to eat and wutnot because im a grown man i can make stuff for myself etc'
im with that though i dont always need a cooked meal when i wake up, i can eat cereal too.
|L9||mention to her the night before that you might go to bed kinda late so you're gonna sleep in|
|Punisher2||the heartbleed bug?
A newly discovered bug in widely used Web encryption technology has affected many major websites. The security bug, named Heartbleed, may impact secure Web servers. Cox Web services including MyAccount, MyConnection, Webmail, Internet Tools, and Phone Tools are not impacted by this issue. For more information, visit
this from my isp though you pals might wanna check out ur stuff though!
|BNet||It affected NDForums as well.
I'm sorry guys, but all of your credit cards have been stolen by me, BNet.
|BNet||Pun, I am enjoying an all-expense paid trip to the Bahamas as we speak.|
|BNet||Pun, for that sarcastic remark, I am traveling to all competing resorts in the area and booking non-refundable suites for dates spanning the next 6 weeks.|
|~dr_dude love~||My current situation.
So you have been probably been wondering, "Hey wheres DDL??" "gosh! I miss how he blessed us with his glory and honor of attending such site" well yeah I recently moved to a p nice apartment for the time being. (reasons that will not be explained because my dad is dumb) but yeah had to move out of the old maxypad to a semi nice maxypad. I have to whore some fucks wifi to get online and do homework and shit. Tried using a hotspot app from cydia but 3G blows to the max so yeah. I also got to connect my laptop to the house computer monitor because the screen backlight is shot. I probably wont be posting much here until I move into the new house in couple months (2 tops but ehhhhhhhhhh who knows) But yeah I hope you enjoyed a laugh out of my expense. Hope to see you guys in hell soon baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
|BNet||seriously, who is this.|
|duelmonkeyx||Man fuck ddl|
|mistero della mente||only reason i clicked the link to this post was because i thought it was spoon
shut up ddl
|magikarp||I tried to do a handstand in my bedroom
Got on my hands, started swinging my legs, sliced my forehead on my bed frame, landed on my neck. I thought I was paralyzed for a second until I moved. Whoo, what a relief right guys?
|BNet||god forbid you end up in a wheelchair|
|Punisher2||i want some mini coke now...|
|L9||whenever I see the normal-sized cans now I'm so jarred by the size.|
|magikarp||I give the bitches the same effect but instead of cans it's actually my cock|
|L9||After seeing your cock for a while, they're jarred by how huge normal-sized ones appear?|
Why do you keep correcting everyone whenever possible? Just because members of your site, note YOUR site, aren't always grammatically correct, doesn't mean you should constantly be correcting them. I'm willing to bet that a few of them could be below par when it comes to knowledge of the english language and grammar in particular, and when one of their e-friends continuously points out that they're wrong and therefore less of an intellectual than you are, especially when that particular e-friend happens to have made this website and administrates it, they probably feel hurt and may at some point want to stop posting when that e-friend is around in order to stop being unrightfully corrected and told that they are wrong. Or perhaps even decide to stop coming to your site altogether. You seem to feel you're the only human with the capacity to type up messages using proper english and grammar, thus creating a false sense of entitlement with which boosts your ego that you hide behind, creating a Battle Netmaster who acts like an asshole and picks and prods at any person who may make a grammatical error on his website. You should act with humility. Instead of being selfish, be selfless. You more than likely hurt a lot of peoples feelings whom weren't as fortunate as you were to have opportunities to be taught properly and have a good environment to be taught in whilst in their developmental stages. You were bullied as a child I'm assuming, and you now know why those children probably said those heinous insults to you. Because you, too, are now experiencing the feeling of being more powerful than someone whilst bringing them down without a care for their feelings. And you can only achieve this feeling of power whilst hiding behind a computer, taunting people whom consider you a friend...
In other words, you're a dick sometimes. But what's up bro? Get to work on a mobile ND.
|L9||Is this post the new "read"?|
|BNet||true that was a lots of thing i had to correcting lmao|
|sesstehking||Since 9 of those corrections were not technically incorrect, they shall stay and you shall look at them knowing you wasted your time attempting to correct. Though I'm sure you achieved the erection you sought after that you usually get from correcting your fellow NDForum-goers. And two of the grammatical infractions were due to me typing on my phone.
But, #1: "that was a lots of thing" is incorrect.
#2: "i had to correcting" is also incorrect.
As well as the capitalization of the beginning of the sentence as well as "I" due to it being a proper noun.
But I love you bruh. Who's this L9 kid?
|PurpNgold49er||l9 is the kid that thought bnet grammar|
|BNet||Past, I Believe The Word You Are Looking For Is "Taught".|
|L9||God, I love being more intelligent than most people.|
|BNet||l9 mucho faggo LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry l9|
|PurpNgold49er||el nueve es joto|
|Punisher2||im just happy that someone who isn't pun got called dumb.
Congrats sess you can be that guy now!
|sesstehking||Not only do we go way back Net, but I'm also smarter than 85%-90% of the dumbasses on this site.
And when did he call me dumb Pun?
AND I'm flattered you have a bulletin board dedicated to me. Do you still have the picture i sent you of me just cupping my cock'n'balls whilst my feet were aimed to the sky, thus resulting in a perfect brown eye shot? It was from way back when we were spamming and you quit while I was just really starting to develop spammers with PHP and such. Yet we continued to talk on AIM consistantly and constantly.
I was always too embarrassed to say anything but...I really liked talking to you...I think it was more than just e-buddies chatting. There was chemistry...
|BNet||Hey Sess! Couple things:
1. You're of average intelligence =\\
|sesstehking||Well, I'd be insulted if you were fully capable of judging my intellect. However, you've never met me just like I've never met you. Thus all I can be certain of is that you 1: know how to teach yourself web designing languages, which I was fully capable o doing and more than likely and more than capable now, and that 2: you're well spoken and have an above par vocabulary consisting of a wide array of properly used terminology and are not grammatically inferior to anyone on NDForums as far as I know.
I do 't understand why you wish to insult me, however...
|BNet||Sess, how is average an insult? There's nothing wrong with being average, bud -pats head-|
|purpngold49er||you wouldnt be talking anything on kobe anymore if you saw me|
|purpngold49er||i would fuck you up if i was little indian kid nigga you soft|
|xjt22||I JUST SCREAMED|
|xjt22||I AM SICK AND TIRED|
|xjt22||IM GETTIN MY 100 POINTS AND LEAVING FUCK THIS SITE|
|~!unknown1337i~||how a plane just dissappears is beyond me
|~!unknown1337i~||At this point I'm thinking it blew up|
|Punisher2||what about a distress signal?|
|xjt22||Yo what if the plane is still in the air??|
|purpngold49er||dimension unparrarel open up during warp speed|
|xjt22||Past always outpasts me :/|
|L9||lyrics aren't music|
|purpngold49er||music is instruments that form a tune and the human voice is the number #1 instrument|
|L9||i'm saying the words are more important than the voice of the person who delivers them, capiche?|
|L9||now that's deep|
|amir25atw||why is anybody arguing with a guy that wuld roll up to a pokemon yellow concert|
|purpngold49er||Fuck all that , the dirtiest bitchs do that and give the bitch that wants to dome you some herpes you dont want that. There better out just making out on my dick, then passing each other herpes.|
|purpngold49er||ok ill try to sound as white as possible
so dude there is like this chick i was trying to hook up with but she got drunk and starting making out with becky the neighborhood slut who we all know has a sexually transmitted disease , cause it was the "cool" thing to do, so now im like hold on you cant suck my dick anymore cause you just made out with the garbage truck im good.
So I dont condone girls kissing girls cause some dirty std slut will come along and give them a monster called herpes, when they could of been totally making out with my wiener and been safe. But now we have a herpes epidemic and shortening of head givers cause of that blasphemy.
|xjt22||need advice? got any questions for me or ddl? ask here and we will respond with a video!
|mistero della mente||who smells the worst on ndf and why is it bnet|
|xjt22||i miss the 2010-13 jakey who would try to fuck different black girls who were run aways or bit his feeet or had pink hair or were my ex boyfriend, where the old amir|
|duelmonkeyx||what would you do
So i was walking to my car after class ended today and this girl i had class with a year and a half ago says hey to me. we dont really know each other that well but we just talk whenever we see each other. Then we start talking and we end up in her car because its cold outside. then randomly she asks me what her name is and im like wtf i dont know. i was hoping the name would pop up in my head but its not a common name because shes indian. I usually forget the persons name within 5 seconds of meeting somebody new because im too focused on saying my name.
anyways what would you niggas have done?
|magikarp||As soon as she asked what her name was you should have been like "Did you hit your head? Do you have Amnesia? RUHHHHH ROOOHHHHH WE NEED TO GET YOU TO THE HOSPITAL ASAP" then push her out of her car, get in the driver's seat, tell her to get into the passenger seat quick or else you're driving to the hospital without her.|
|xjt22||Russel wilson is a cute indian|
|BNet||no offense past but
i would rather hire zaza to moderate my site than you
|mistero della mente||hes a great friend i enjoy his company
please l9 correct my grammar i need it please
|Punisher2||he doesnt correct me anymore so hes been more enjoyable lately.
or maybe i have been less dumb, who knows?
|BNet||maybe he's given up hope|
|Theheight||You guys should just let me win the lottery every week|
|L9||Fuck off, TheHeight! Nobody fucking asked you!|
|Theheight||Nobody asked anything at all|
|L9||Shut the fuck up, little pussy faggot.|
|Theheight||Aww did I offend you L9? Continue to call me things over an internet forum, I'm sure that is really going to get to me eventually.|
|L9||You act like you're hot shit, but you're nothing but a little bitch ass. For real. Fucking no-life, punkass little kid.|
|L9||Dude, I feel fucking sorry for you. Real talk.|
|Theheight||Ugh surely there is someone on NDForums that is better at trolling than you, I'm sure even Punisher could do a better job than you right now and he seems like the nicest guy on this site too.|
|Theheight||Do I need to give you some info to work with? Maybe to actually get you started?|
|L9||What info do I need? You're a pussy-ass with no life and no friends.|
|Theheight||What the fuck is a pussy-ass? Haha like that isn't even an insult I have no idea what that even is supposes to be implying. And here is your chance to really get it started. Go ahead and tell me what leads you to believe I have no life and no friends.|
|Theheight||And if you try to say I am a "pussy-ass" ever again then you automatically lose.|
|L9||You can keep talking smack about me but that won't help you lose your virginity or cure your micropenis.|
|Theheight||Oh I knew the penis jokes were going to come into play eventually. I think the only thing left you have in your sorry little arsenal now is to make some bad insult about my mom, right?|
|L9||Your life was a bad insult to your mom.|
|Theheight||Hmm I still have yet to hear one good remark that actually was clever enough to affect me. Should I start using really bad grammar because that might be able to give you a fresh start? Or do you just want to give up for the night, Google some new insults and try again tomorrow?|
|L9||Man, I should waste your faggot ass. Fucking bitch.|
|Theheight||You say that as if it's not what you've been trying to do for the past 30 minutes|
|L9||If we could go head to head I'd pound your cute, round, pink little ass.|
|Theheight||To be honest, if we met head to head, you would only come up to about my shoulders at best. And if you feel like coming up to Tallahassee anytime by all means come because it would be absolutely hilarious hearing you say these things actually to my face and not over the internet.|
|L9||You'll be my Tallahassee Lassie, and I'll ride you all night long.|
|Theheight||Alright well this has gotten to the point where I am starting to truly feel embarrassed for you. If you ever try something like this again later I am probably just going to pretend to be offended so you don't have to end up at this desperate point ever again.|
|Theheight||Haha have a good night.|
|L9||Wow man, you are completely pathetic. Do you just sit around on the internet and shit-talk people all day? Do you have any life at all? (Wait, scratch that. I already know the answer. To that one.)|
|L9||just re-bought the same earbuds I was using
and decided I'd take better care of them this time.
the bass isn't as good with these new ones though for some reason. :^(
|BNet||try adding a little lemon seasoning to your bass!|
|PurpNGold49er||lets be real tho none of you know the american hustle no one here|
|xjt22||Past is such a robot with his typical replies|
|PurpNGold49er||the anti hustlers|
|amir25atw||you prolly had to hustle hard 2 ge TV that underwear model exposure|
|Yellow Jr.||Hey L9
I bet you haven't even read all the Harry Potter books and you go on like you know English so fucking good you ain't know shit from a brick
|L9||Shut up. I know English great. My English is great.|
|PurpNGold49er||l9 > bnet
as far as english
but bnet > l9 everything other then that
|BNet||Excuse me, Past, but I believe you mean "everything other thin that." Thin is used for comparison, you Neanderthal.|
|PurpNGold49er||stop being mad l9 is better at english|
|BNet||Please, please reconsider! I know a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, I know so many grammars, I write professional books.|
|BNet||I was once praised with the following: "Knows a lot (two words) of English words that are in the dictionary, knows so many grammars, writes professional books."|
|Punisher2||whoo im in ndfs top most quote
|Punisher2||I guess the better way to put it would be latest quote.
but yeah i dont go to see it alot but when i do i go to see if i made any.
|BNet||i, too, sometimes wonder if i'm hilarious|